This month I’m rejoining the multi-blogger motherhood series, Real Talk with Real Moms. If you haven’t read my previous posts, you might be interested in hearing how I juggled even the most basic motherhood hurdles with our son Gabriel. This time around, we have a handful of new contributors to the group, so make sure you check. them. out.
Today’s topic is comparison.
When you’re pregnant, there’s a good deal of predictability, at least as it relates to the growth and development of your little one. At 12 weeks this, at 20 weeks that, and so on and so forth. But then when that precious bundle finally arrives in the world, all those markers and milestones get thrown into a mixer of individuality. Suddenly, no two babies are the same! And the expectation that things will progress according to a formulaic and predictable calendar disappear.
Since Gabriel was a six week preemie, I had to get comfortable from the beginning with the reality that his growth was going to be different than other infants his age. It wasn’t a dramatic difference, but enough of one that I noticed it. And noticing is everything when you’re a mama. Most times just noticing a small difference is enough to send us down a rabbit hole of negative comparisons, tabulations and self-doubt.
Maybe I’m not feeding him the right foods. Maybe I need to buy different toys. Maybe I’m not reading the right books. Maybe our stroller isn’t high tech enough. Maybe what we have for him isn’t enough, because… look at that perfect family over there that has everything their child needs and is right on track!
And so it goes.
It can be an ugly roller-coaster if you let yourself jump on the ride. But, when my strength is up and my head is clear, I’m able to catch myself before getting too carried away with comparisons. In those moments, this is what I say.
This, RIGHT HERE, is more than enough.
Simple as that. So many mothers couldn’t imagine a life like ours in their wildest dreams. So many families live healthy, happy lives on so much less and in much more challenging circumstances! Comparing what we have and how our children stack up against others is a futile task because it is completely endless. There will always be something that seems superior to ourselves. And we will always question whether or not what we’re doing and what we’re offering is sufficient. Chasing that train of thought just isn’t worth it.
Instead, consider your life with your little ones as a perfectly imperfect work of art that is made better, brighter, more true and more beautiful because of it’s individuality and differences. Like any good artist knows, the challenges are what make the art. Not the cushy comforts and plentiful resources. We have creativity on our sides, fellow mamas! Our children are going to be just fine.
Much love to all you mamas out there! How do you deal with the sticky topic of comparison?
CHECK OUT the other moms in this SERIES
Jen of The Effortless Chic // Amy of Parker Etc. // Rebecca of A Daily Something // Alex of AVE Styles // Catherine of The Lifestyled // Bethany of Cloistered Away // Erin of Design for Mankind // Emily of The Refined Woman